I Try Out the New Nintendo DS Games. And Have a MilkShake

Last week, I was invited to attend a launch party for two new DS games--Diner Dash and Wedding Dash.

Now, my kids have the Nintendo DS which I got them for a flight to Paris a few years ago, because I wanted to concentrate on my fear of terrorism and mechanical malfunction and not on my children's terrible behavior. The fact that Young Ladrinka asked me if he could play the DS while we were at the LOUVRE remains a beloved memory and not a Moment of Mortification, as mama suggested.

But, anyway. Although my kids love the DS, I'm sort of "eh" about it. The few times that I've tried to use Pokemon Platinum, my son was all "YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!" "BATTLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" and it wasn't fun for me. I prefer games that I don't need to take prescription nerve tablets to enjoy.

But the people at the Diner Dash/Wedding Dash event were super nice and explained everything to me and didn't yell at me. They also let me order a real life chocolate milkshake, so I love them and everything that they're selling and you should get multiple copies of each immediately if not sooner.

First I tried out Diner Dash (unfortunately subtitled Flo on the Go). I was told that this game is about multitasking. (I think that's what I was told. I was drinking a milk shake). You are the waitress, and you have to seat people, take their orders, get them to the food service preparation station, pick up the orders, serve them, bring them their checks, clear the table and seat the next customers.

I missed the part where you spit into the customers' food and get a tip, but I assume that it's the advanced version.

I was enjoying getting my customers' orders in when suddenly I looked over and saw that my customers were sitting there with what looked like steam coming out of their years.

"Excuse me," I called to the nice person running the event, "but," and I took another slow sip of my chocolate milkshake, "something is wrong with these customers."
"That's because you're not serving them fast enough," the nice but refusing to white-lie to me person running the event said.

Great. So the customers were seething now?

Fantastic.

Well, if they thought that this was a good way to get me to serve them faster, they were in for a big surprise.

After ten minutes, I was exhausted. There were other features that I'd like to explore, like the 9 customer types, including "Tourists" and "Lovebirds". I figure the tourists you can pretend that you can't understand anything that they're saying and then totally pad their bill and you can totally ignore the lovebirds because they're in love and nauseating and the woman is probably on a diet.

"Is this for children who are interested in pursuing a career in waitressing?" I asked. Apparently not, but let me tell you, this early practice certainly can't hurt!

Then I moved on to Wedding Dash. Which I loved.

So, in this game, you're the wedding planner. It starts out with an early Alzheimer's detection test, where it tells you "Bernie and Maggie hate seafood and garlic, like traditional weddings cakes and want to honeymoon in Europe" and then you get three choices for appetizers, wedding cakes and a honeymoon and you have to select the correct one! I was off to a great start!

But then the fun begins. Guests arrive and you have to seat them, take their gifts from them and take it to the bride and groom (obviously, a Jewish wedding), get them food, break up a few fights and get new guests to repeat the process.

I COULD NOT STOP PLAYING THIS GAME, despite some obvious design flaws.

Like in which ring of hell do guests get seated one at a time, get served food at different times and leave the wedding so that other guests may be seated?

And, why can't my character, as a wedding planner, hire some people to do all this gift to-ing and fro-ing and food service.

And why is no one passed out drunk and/or sobbing.

My favorite part of the game may have been the groom and bride, sitting at the top of the screen, making passive aggressive statements.

I'm not quite sue how to end these reviews.

If I played DS games, I'd definitely play the Wedding Dash one.

If Nintendo would like my 8 year old son to play it, I'd recommend the "waitress goes postal" feature where she takes everyone out. And I don't mean for dinner.